It has been a few weeks since my last post and I am so excited to have a clear mind this evening to write. I normally have a very clear idea of what I am going to write about but tonight feels more like a candid conversation, a casual catch up, and I am just going to go with the flow. Tonight is methotrexate night, so I am seizing the opportunity to write before the sickness and ‘mental fog’ descends for the next couple of days and the fight to keep things together begins.
I have learnt during this journey to become an opportunist. My health is both predictable and unpredictable. I know that I am going to be sick after taking my methotrexate for a few days and that as it wears off I will begin to feel less sick but my Still’s symptoms (inflammation, rashes and body temperature fluctuations) will get worse. It’s a hard continuum to live on. Sick and mentally foggy but my joints and organs more protected on one end or immobile, body destroying itself but clear minded on the other. My daily health and energy fluctuate erratically and unpredictability. I am learning how to manage my limited energy better – but the battery charger is pretty unreliable! As a result, I am realising the importance of taking each moment at a time. If I am blessed with a moment of energy or clear mindedness I desperately grab hold of it! I don’t always know when I might get another moment like it.
My encouragement to you is to grab hold of every moment too, make the most of every opportunity, and never forget to love life and those around you. Life will throw curve balls and present mountains that seem to high to climb, but persist persist persist. Encourage and value everyone you meet and seek out opportunities to show kindness. Life is too unpredictable not too.
I am starting to get pretty tired, it appears I don’t have as much energy as I thought, but before I sign off I want to say thank you to everyone for your generous support and continual encouragement.