This will likely be a short post. I am trying to get my head around everything that is going on and I just need to write it out. I hope that through documenting my thoughts, saying it as it is, someone might be encouraged to keep pushing on with their struggles. We’re a community, a family unit and we need to support one another. Physically and emotionally, I can’t do much at the moment. But hopefully through my writing and sharing my heart I can still be an encourager and supporter.
Today has been a real struggle. I am so exhausted and numb. It has been just over a month since the onset of the first noticeable symptoms. One of the medications I am on causes insomnia – so going to bed has been a mental battle of dreading the long nights. Utterly exhausted by not being able to sleep.
I saw my specialist on Thursday and I haven’t responded to the first stage of treatment. So last night I started chemotherapy. It is frightening. There are so many connotations surrounding chemotherapy. Fortunately, I will only be undertaking it once a week at this stage and the symptoms should be significantly reduced.
The last few paragraphs provide a rough picture of what is going on physically at the moment. But wow, despite all of this God has been providing. I am continually brought to tears with the overwhelming support I have been receiving and how God has been orchestrating moments of encouragement for me. I can say with such a thankful heart that I have never felt alone during this journey. My heart is full of gratitude for you all.
I am getting very tired and I wish I could continue to write. I have so much I want to share but I may need to leave it for another day where I have more energy.
My recovery song at the moment is Trust by Hillsong Young and Free. The lyrics are so encouraging.
Now everything I know
Is God you’re in control
In every little detail
You are close
I’ll never be alone
Here in the unknown
The power of Your Presence
Fills my soul